It's 7:15 am. I'm awake. My alarm is set for 8:00 am, but I decide I may as well get up now. There's no chance I'll be able to get back to sleep. My whole body is covered in huge, swollen bites and that fat fucking mosquito is perched on the wall behind the head of my bed, challenging me to catch him. It is the biggest mosquito I've ever seen and I know he's so tremendous because he's been gorging on my blood all fucking night long. I have to work at 10:00. I would be totally miserable, except this has been going on for three weeks and last night wasn't even the worst night. Sometimes there is more than one, circling my bed like teeny little vultures. It's amazing that something so small can cause me so much discomfort and annoyance.
I live in a huge, horrible apartment in Sunset Park in Brooklyn. It's awful. Seriously. It's so awful I actually got made fun of by a stand-up comidienne last weekend ("Brooklyn is tough", she says. "Does anyone live in Brooklyn?" I raise my hand, she asks me what part and when I tell her Sunset Park she bursts into laughter. Apparently she didn't even need to come up with a joke about Sunset Park...the fact that I lived there was funny enough itself.) I've never been the butt of a stand-up joke before. It didn't even embarrass me; I totally agreed with her.
Anyway, the place doesn't have air conditioning. Nor do its windows have screens. So if I want ventilation I have to suffer the mosquitos and other various flying insects. Good thing it's August.
So here I am. At 4:00 am I woke up to bites on my forearm, wrist, and shoulder. At 5:30 am it was a bite on my knuckle and the side of my palm. I have been bitten on my cuticle. And this morning on the sole of my right foot. What kind of sadistic mosquito is this???
At this point, I feel like it's a battle of wits. I mean, this thing must have strategy. It's not just going for the fleshiest parts of my body, it's going for the parts where the nerves are the most sensitive. One night I woke up to bites on my face, shoulders and hands and saw the greedy little thing on the wall above my head. Determined to beat it, I leapt up and went to the bathroom to search for some kind of aerosol/spray/something or other to zap it. The only thing I could find was a can of Oust air freshener. Unfortunately, the can was running rather low and mostly air puffed out when I tried to spray the little fucker. It dropped out of sight behind my bed, and though I couldn't tell if it had been defeated, I decided to try to sleep. An hour later, I woke up with bites on my ankles, calves and knees. And low and behold, it was perched on the wall by my feet.
Don't tell me that's not strategy. At least in some primitive bug form.
Now, I don't believe in organized religion (at least not for myself, I don't judge others), but I consider myself to be a pretty spiritually aware person, and I totally believe that there is a higher power guiding me. I usually refer to it as The Universe.
The mosquito bite on the sole of my foot must be a sign from The Universe. It is one of many signs I've received alerting me that I am in the wrong place in my life at the wrong time.
The last night I lived in my sublet in Astoria before going to start rehearsals for The Irish... in Philly, I was awakened at 6:00 am by a cockroach. Crawling. On. My. Face. Three days later, my roommates called me in Philly to tell me they were looking for a new roommate and they wanted me out as soon as possible. I shouldn't have been surprised and I ultimately didn't mind. the cockroach was a sign.
Last Monday I woke up one morning and went to use the bathroom and wash my face. When I flushed the toilet, it clogged up and started to overflow. I'll spare you the gruesome details, but let's just say I was plunging some truly repulsive substances for nearly an hour. Later that day (after extensive showering) I was nearly fired from my restaurant job which I'd been long wanting to quit anyway. Upset (I've never been fired before), I met up with my friends and while talking through what my next move should be with them, I realized, again, that it was truly The Universe's way of kicking my ass into gear. I needed to get out of that restaurant, it was making me miserable. I hated the general manager and was terrible at concealing it. I felt like I'd been standing still for so long, not accomplishing any of my goals, and I needed to feel like I was moving forward. Well, The Universe came through once again. I walked into Morimoto the next day and was hired on the spot. I finished training last week and today I'm blogging from the Reservation Desk computer on my first shift.
Clearly starting off on the right foot.
Ha ha.
Also, I'm moving this weekend. I always knew it was temporary, but I never thought I'd be this relieved to get out of there. It was a good temporary solution, a way for me to quickly move back to New York. Happily, I can finally say I'm here, I'm back on track and I'm not going anywhere... until The Universe tells me it's time to move on yet again.
I live in a huge, horrible apartment in Sunset Park in Brooklyn. It's awful. Seriously. It's so awful I actually got made fun of by a stand-up comidienne last weekend ("Brooklyn is tough", she says. "Does anyone live in Brooklyn?" I raise my hand, she asks me what part and when I tell her Sunset Park she bursts into laughter. Apparently she didn't even need to come up with a joke about Sunset Park...the fact that I lived there was funny enough itself.) I've never been the butt of a stand-up joke before. It didn't even embarrass me; I totally agreed with her.
Anyway, the place doesn't have air conditioning. Nor do its windows have screens. So if I want ventilation I have to suffer the mosquitos and other various flying insects. Good thing it's August.
So here I am. At 4:00 am I woke up to bites on my forearm, wrist, and shoulder. At 5:30 am it was a bite on my knuckle and the side of my palm. I have been bitten on my cuticle. And this morning on the sole of my right foot. What kind of sadistic mosquito is this???
At this point, I feel like it's a battle of wits. I mean, this thing must have strategy. It's not just going for the fleshiest parts of my body, it's going for the parts where the nerves are the most sensitive. One night I woke up to bites on my face, shoulders and hands and saw the greedy little thing on the wall above my head. Determined to beat it, I leapt up and went to the bathroom to search for some kind of aerosol/spray/something or other to zap it. The only thing I could find was a can of Oust air freshener. Unfortunately, the can was running rather low and mostly air puffed out when I tried to spray the little fucker. It dropped out of sight behind my bed, and though I couldn't tell if it had been defeated, I decided to try to sleep. An hour later, I woke up with bites on my ankles, calves and knees. And low and behold, it was perched on the wall by my feet.
Don't tell me that's not strategy. At least in some primitive bug form.
Now, I don't believe in organized religion (at least not for myself, I don't judge others), but I consider myself to be a pretty spiritually aware person, and I totally believe that there is a higher power guiding me. I usually refer to it as The Universe.
The mosquito bite on the sole of my foot must be a sign from The Universe. It is one of many signs I've received alerting me that I am in the wrong place in my life at the wrong time.
The last night I lived in my sublet in Astoria before going to start rehearsals for The Irish... in Philly, I was awakened at 6:00 am by a cockroach. Crawling. On. My. Face. Three days later, my roommates called me in Philly to tell me they were looking for a new roommate and they wanted me out as soon as possible. I shouldn't have been surprised and I ultimately didn't mind. the cockroach was a sign.
Last Monday I woke up one morning and went to use the bathroom and wash my face. When I flushed the toilet, it clogged up and started to overflow. I'll spare you the gruesome details, but let's just say I was plunging some truly repulsive substances for nearly an hour. Later that day (after extensive showering) I was nearly fired from my restaurant job which I'd been long wanting to quit anyway. Upset (I've never been fired before), I met up with my friends and while talking through what my next move should be with them, I realized, again, that it was truly The Universe's way of kicking my ass into gear. I needed to get out of that restaurant, it was making me miserable. I hated the general manager and was terrible at concealing it. I felt like I'd been standing still for so long, not accomplishing any of my goals, and I needed to feel like I was moving forward. Well, The Universe came through once again. I walked into Morimoto the next day and was hired on the spot. I finished training last week and today I'm blogging from the Reservation Desk computer on my first shift.
Clearly starting off on the right foot.
Ha ha.
Also, I'm moving this weekend. I always knew it was temporary, but I never thought I'd be this relieved to get out of there. It was a good temporary solution, a way for me to quickly move back to New York. Happily, I can finally say I'm here, I'm back on track and I'm not going anywhere... until The Universe tells me it's time to move on yet again.
1 comment:
Holy shit, I'm glad the Universe is coming through for you. Otherwise I'd suggest a malaria vaccination....
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